OFFICIAL DICTIONARY AND USAGE GUIDE
Second Edition February, 2007	The only Dictionary and Usage Guide Officially Sanctioned by the AUCTION LISTINGS BOARD

_{A Freedman Publication}©

A Member-Generated Compendium of EBAY word definitions contributed by Board Members of the EBAY Auction Listings Discussion Board, a board for eBay members to learn more about auction listings from other community members with the support of eBay staff.

To request an electronic copy: send name and e-mail address to

Andi Freedman at

andiland@andilandweb.com

Copyright © 2004-2008 Andi Freedman

All Rights Reserved. May Not Be Reproduced Without Permission.

A Note from Your Editor

This is the second edition of the eBay Dictionary. I’m sorry it took so long, but good things, like wine and language, take time to ferment. This edition has a number of additions that I hope you will find useful.

The brainchild (if that grandiose a concept is appropriate here) of Andiland, definitions have been supplied by a great many AL boardies, and I want to thank them all for their efforts, some of them hilarious.

Some board posters have contributed multiple definitions that have been so complete as to require minimal editing, and to those I would like to extend a special thank you. Thanks to (in no particular order) dork*say*what, n.s.sherlock, frank213, kangabitt, , taleswoven, passionforpostcards, computer_saskboy, ooak_handcrafts and vinylmatters.

Any typographical or other error is due to a senior moment on the part of the editor, and if you point it out to her she’ll make damb sure it doesn’t happen again.

A

adult listing (See mature listing)

advise
Pronunciation: ad·vĭce'
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle eBay advir, from Old eBay ignorant
Definition: opinion about what could or should be done about a situation or problem; counsel.
Example: Help!! I need some advise!

antique

Pronunciation: an tē׳k

Function: adjective

Etymology: Middle eBay more than one week old, from Old eBay ancient

Definition: anything purchased at an estate sale or owned by an old aunt who died when she was 86. The object is then automatically given the age of the deceased owner.

Example: I bought this antique Epson™ printer from the estate of a little old lady who passed away at the age of 92.

as is

Pronunciation: àz ĭz

Function: adjective

Etymology: Modern eBay, caveat emptor

Definition: 1a: commonly used in auction listings to describe an item that has major flaws, while specifically not describing the flaws themselves.

1b: used as attempt to cover a seller’s a$$ when selling merchandise known to be faulty.

1c: a euphemism for “don’t try to get a refund when you find out how dirty/torn/stained/smelly this dress is.
Example: This gorgeous prom dress is being sold as is.

B

¹bid

Pronunciation: bíd

Function: a soon-to-be obsolete reg. verb pst. tnse. to bid
Etymology: Middle eBay bide, from Old eBay buy

Definition: offer an amount of money for an item that you want to have. Passé (see bidded)

Current: Buy It Now

Definition: phrase denoting the immediate purchase price of an item in a pseudo-auction. Usually shortened to BIN.

²bid

Pronunciation: bíd

Function: noun
Etymology: Middle eBay bide, from Old eBay this is how much I’m willing to pay

Definition: amount of money a bidder is willing to pay for a desired item.

Example: The maximum bid was below the reserve.

bidded

Pronunciation: bíd’-ed
Function: reg. verb pst. tnse. to bid
Etymology: Middle eBay bide, from Old eBay uneducated; used by the ignorant to annoy intelligent AL board posters.
Definition: to offer an amount of money for an item that you want to have.

Example: I bidded on the auction but the seller cancelled my bid.

bid retraction

Pronunciation: bíd’ re trakshun
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle eBay mindless bidding, from Old eBay regret.
Definition: to take back (undo) a bid made in haste and without any thought whatsoever. Often done by shill bidders (see shill bid) under the guise of “incorrect amount entered”.

Example: This bidder has made 32 bid retractions in the last month!

blank post

Pronunciation: bl׳ank pōst
Function: noun
Etymology: Modern eBay hidden, from Middle eBay reportable

Definition: to write secret and/or cryptic messages in white font on white background, thereby rendering it hidden unless highlighted, with the knowledge that only a fraction of eBay AL Board posters know the secret of gaining access.
Example: Hey you sexy thing you...come here!

blocked bidder list
Pronunciation: blokd bǐddr lĭst
Function: noun, usually abbreviated as BBL
Etymology: Very Ephemeral Ebay, blocked bidder list
Definition: 1a: a self-selected, eBay-maintained list of users that we absolutely never, ever want to see bidding on our auctions.

1b: what we all run for when a board member complains about their latest PITA buyer.

1c: a Brigadoon-like list that disappears and reappears at random.

Example: One of my buyers has now become NARU'ed before paying. Do I need to add her to my BBL?!

boardies

Pronunciation: bor dēz
Function: noun pl of boardie
Etymology: Middle eBay post, from Old eBay post,
Definition: one who spends entirely too much time posting on a discussion board

Example: Some of these AL boardies need to get a life!

board moderator

Pronunciation: bored mod ă rā׳ ter
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle eBay hidden, from Old eBay referee,
Definition: mythical figure rumored to be a pink (see pink) in charge of the AL Board, but largely invisible to its patrons
Example: Has anyone heard from our board moderator regarding this Troll? (see Troll)

bump
Pronunciation: b׳ mp
Function: verb to bump
Etymology: Middle eBay push, from Old eBay shove.
Definition: to make a post to a thread, frequently containing only the word "bump", for the sole purpose of causing it to move to the top of the list.

Example: I bumped the thread for the afternoon crowd.

buyer's remorse
Pronunciation: by΄erz re morse΄
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle eBay buyer second thoughts, from Old eBay overspent,
1a: Realization by purchaser that the item purchased is no longer desired

1b: realization by buyer that they can find it elsewhere cheaper

1c; purchase of item elsewhere for a lower price

1d: the bane of all sellers

1e: cause of negative feedback(see feedback)
Example: My bidder has told me they will not be sending payment. I think it is just buyer's remorse, as I found that they have purchased the same item cheaper from another seller.

C

¹carp
Pronunciation: kărp
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle eBay carp, from Old eBay fish,
Definition: garbage (synonyms) trash, junk, stuff, dross, useless items, other posters' opinions, eBay rules, PayPal rules, other sellers’ merchandise, other auction sites' merchandise, yard sale merchandise, excrement
Example: I asked the AL board for help and all I got was carp.

²carp
Pronunciation: kărp
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle eBay carp, from Old eBay fish,
Definition: a fish
Example: Carp are just aged goldfish.

³carp
Pronunciation: kărp
Function: prsnt. tnse. verb – to carp

Etymology: Middle eBay worry, from Old eBay beat a dead horse,
Definition: to repeatedly bring up a subject, to nag, to pick at something, to beat a dead horse
Example: My buyer is carping about my $35.00 shipping charges.

carpped
Pronunciation: kăr΄pd
Function: noun

Etymology: unknown

Definition: nom de poste of a popular AL board member.

Example: Carpped told that whiner to get a life. Now he’s whining on another thread about that!

category
Pronunciation: cá tĕ gor ē

Function: noun
Etymology: Early eBay, high level methodology
Definition: 1a: descriptive set for a widget

1b: a place to put something, related to all of the others or not
1c: a constantly changing placeholder
1d: a bloody feline
Example: In what category would you browse to find a book about silver jewelry from Asia or maybe Africa from the Victorian Era, in mint condition, except the cover could be missing, with writing in crayon on every fifth page, for less than a $1.00, where the seller takes PayPal only?

cheesy poofs
Pronunciation: chēzy pöfs
Function: euphemistic query
Etymology: Unknown

Definition: indication that a thread is becoming a: hostile, b: confrontational or c: expected to receive many responses, and we may all be here for a loooong time.
Example: Cheesy poofs?
Variation: Do you want some cheese with that whine?
choklit

Pronunciation: chok׳ lǐt

Function: noun
Etymology: Modern eBay nature’s perfect food

Definition: derivative of the cacao tree, consumption of which makes the eater feel happy and contented and relieved of stress. The long-term effects are tooth decay and obesity, but who the hell cares?
Example: I’m having a carpy day. Anyone have some choklit?

D

damb

Pronunciation: dàm

Function: exclamation
Etymology: Modern eBay holy carp

Definition: expletive used when annoyed beyond belief or terminally startled. Spelled as is so as to escape notice and pink slaps.
Example: Damb but I’m having a carpy day. Anyone have some choklit?

debayed

Pronunciation: dē׳ bayd

Function: verb
Etymology: Modern eBay: de meaning undo and eBay, which is self-explanatory

Definition: To take something off eBay. To be taken off eBay
Example: I had that listed for $9.99 and it didn't sell so I debayed it.

dumbnoxious

Pronunciation: dǔm nox׳ yǔs

Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle eBay stupid, from Old eBay unpleasant beyond belief

Definition: 1a: a statement that is both insulting to the receiver and demonstrates total ignorance on the part of the giver
1b: an eBayer who combines ignorance and persistance
Example: I got a dumbnoxious ASQ telling me that I was charging too much and asking me to take 5% of my asking price.

E

eBay
Pronunciation: ē׳-bāy

Function: noun: variations: EBAY, Ebay
Etymology: Middle eBay electronic and bey (king) from Old eBay eta and bay

Definition: 1a. just a venue

1b. the only game in town

1c. acronym for Everyone Bickering And Yacking.

Example: ecame, esaw, econquered.

emo

Pronunciation: ē mō

Function: adjective
Etymology: Modern Punk, emotional

Definition: 1a: short for emotional, a youth style that has spawned a whole mess of bands who say everything sucks.

1b: the emo look, starting with the head and going down, is described below:

The hair should be "short, thick, greasy and dyed black with bangs cut straight across."

The eyes should be accompanied by thick, black frames.

A typical emo kid can be seen in a cardigan or v-neck sweater that's too small. Also accepted is polyester button shirts (which must be buttoned), and children's size t-shirts with random slogans, with '80s themes often preferred.

The emo kid should wear heavy slacks, often too short and tight. But other websites say emo kids can wear tight blue jeans as well.

On the feet "clunky, black shoes," but regular tennis shoes are also acceptable. Experts also suggest buttons with short catch phrases.

Those who wish to go emo should become extremely thin. Veganism helps in this category.

1c: a style adopted by your kids to drive you nuts.

Example: Emo appears to be made up of Goth crossed with Punk with some Geek thrown in. What can I say?
expert
Pronunciation: x׳-prt
Function: noun

Etymology: Middle eBay former owner from Old eBay dilettante

Definition: anyone who sells a specific item more than ten times.

Example: He had sold one piece of Staffordshire china previously, and was therefore an expert.

F

feedback

Pronunciation: fēed׳ back
Function: noun
Etymology: Modern eBay required through Middle eBay opinion, from Old eBay optional,
Definition: 1a: optional sales transaction byproduct.

1b: source of eBay Community reputation; frequently resulting in feelings of intensity which range from elation to frustration, anxiety and retaliation, even suicidal despair from both buyers and sellers who take such comments way too seriously.

1c: bribe offered by buyer to seller for special consideration.

Example: Help! My buyer says that If I don’t leave him feedback first, he’ll neg me! (see neg)

feedback loop
Pronunciation: fēed׳ back lūp

Function: noun
Etymology: Modern Canadian Feedbackius foruminius
Definition: feedback left for himself by Power Seller of the Month where you can view feedback left between accounts without using your keyboard to navigate between them.
Example: The feedback loop on the PSOTM's accounts confused Mioka, until she realized he was a shiller (see shill bidding).

fees
Pronunciation: fēz (like in fe fi fo fum I smell ...)
Function: noun, pl.

Etymology: from Early to Modern Ebay, assessment
Definition:1a: the cut eBay gets when you do everything - list, FVF, gallery, BIN, reserve price, extra pictures, 10 days, PayPal, yada yada yada
1b: sellers ante up, bidders and buyers do not
1c: keeps eBay busy getting all the millions to buy planes
1d: something that went up on 2/2/04 - but not a plane
1e: can't say they will never go down - stores did
Definition: I pay more in fees each month than I receive from my high bidders, does that mean I qualify as a Power Seller?

flame

Pronunciation: flā׳-m

Function: verb to flame

Etymology: Middle eBay flambé from Old eBay flan

Definition: to grill/roast/char a fellow board member over the fire for good or no good reason.

Example: The OP’s complaint about feedback resulted in his getting royally flamed.

FLD
Pronunciation: ĕff ĕl dēe
Function: noun - acronym for Free Listing Day

Etymology: obscure, eBay mythology
Definition:1a: An elusive rare, almost mythological "day" wherein the cost of offering an item using eBay's forum is "magically" erased from one's bill.

1b: An added business expense solidifying the old adage that there truly is "no such thing as a free lunch."
1c: part of an annoying thread title which elicits responses from veteran eBayers bordering on mockery and defamation.
(see flame)
Example: When is the next Free Listing Day going to be?
FVF
Pronunciation: eff vee eff

Function: noun – acronym for Final Value Fee
Etymology: Earliest eBay fees and more fees
Definition: 1a: the fee charged by eBay based on the final winning price of your auction listing.

1b: after all your hard work in posting and running your auction culminates in an NPB, you are required to file an FVFC for your Final Value Fee.
1c: a small reminder that eBay does not equal EPAY

Example: I’ve had three NPBs this week, and have to send NPBAs to get my FVFs back.

G

glitch

Pronunciation: glǐch
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle Ebay bad software, from Old Ebay piss-poor-engineering.
Synonyms: major problem, total catastrophe, complete loss of function, breakdown, network problem, server problem, crash, spilled coffee, issue

Definition: 1a. a service interruption.
1b. Common cause of missed bids.

1c. Common cause of missed sales.
1d. eBay problem due to poor function.

Example: Earlier this afternoon eBay had a glitch when buyers were apparently unable to bid on items on the site. We are happy to report that all other functions, including seller search, viewing of items, and browsing were unaffected. The glitch has now been resolved.

Unsaid: Now that YOUR auctions have closed without bids.

groups
Pronunciation: groops
Function: noun pl. of group
Etymology: Modern Ebay exclude
Definition: recent innovation of eBay as a response to other sites with chat modes.
Example: Groups frighten the dickens out of regular boardies (see boardie) who are afraid that their favorite venue (the boards) for chat will disappear.
Variation: Can also be used in the singular mode as in: Come join my group.

Can also be used in the exclusionary mode as in: You can’t join my group.

H

hijack

Pronunciation: hī jak
Function: verb to hijack
Etymology: Unknown (1923)
Definition: to commandeer a thread for discussion of one’s own topic.

Example: Somehow the New Fees thread got hijacked by some feedback whiner (see whine).

huge
Pronunciation: h yu׳ j
Function: adjective
Etymology: Modern eBay few
Definition: 1a: term commonly used in auction titles to describe items for sale. Usually indicates a large lot of items but in fact stands for two or three items in a grouping.
1b: Term that results in high volume of auction viewers but yields low numbers of bids and high levels of irritation.

Variant spelling: hugh
Example: ***Huge Lot*** Must See!

I

id
Pronunciation: \'id\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle eBay Sigmund from Old eBay I would
Definition: 1a: the one of the three divisions of the psyche in psychoanalytic theory that is completely unconscious and is the source of psychic energy derived from instinctual needs and drives - compare EGO, SUPEREGO, SLIP
Example: Id didn't *mean* to bid on that widget
1b: evil twin

issues
Pronunciation: iss׳ uz

Function: pl noun
Etymology: Middle eBay broken, from Old eBay glitch
Synonyms: major problem, total catastrophe, complete loss of function, breakdown, network problem, server problem, crash, spilled coffee, glitch

Definition: 1a. a service interruption.
1b. Common cause of missed bids.

1c. Common cause of missed sales.
1d. eBay problem due to poor function.

Example: Earlier this afternoon eBay had some issues when buyers were apparently unable to bid on items on the site. We are happy to report that all other functions, including seller search, viewing of items, and browsing were unaffected. The issues have now been resolved.

Unsaid: Now that YOUR auctions have closed without bids.

K

Katy

Pronunciation: Kāy׳ tē
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle eBay kate, from Old eBay kate

Definition: mythical figure rumored to be a pink in charge of the AL Board, but largely invisible to its patrons.

¹kerplop

Pronunciation: kr plôp׳
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle Ebay hail, from Old Ebay hundred
Definition: the centenary posts in a thread.
Example: My post was number 200, my first kerplop.

²kerplop
Pronunciation: kr plôp׳
Function: verb to kerplop
Etymology: Middle Ebay hail, from Old Ebay hundred
Definition: to emphasize the centenary marks in a thread.
Example: He finally kerplopped.
kerpopo
Pronunciation: kr pô׳ pô
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle eBay poop, from Old Ebay doo-doo
Definition: a stupid member of the eBay community: If being used as a descriptive noun by a seller, always refers to a buyer. If being used as a descriptive noun by a buyer, always refers to a seller. Example: My TOS clearly states No Personal Checks, and this kerpopo sent me a personal check!
Synonyms: doofus, idiot, moron, maroon, fool, dolt, chucklehead, carphead, lamebrain, oh I could just go on and on and on……..

L

link fairy
Pronunciation: lĭnk fārē
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle eBay linkus fairaensis, from Old eBay all-knowing

Definition: 1a: a mystical eBayer who magically appears after the words "I’m sure the link fairy will be here soon."
1b: having links
1c: eater of sausage

Live Help

Pronunciation: don’t bother
Function: oxymoronic noun
Etymology: Modern eBay useless from Old Ebay sentient human being

Definition: 1a: friendly sales personnel employed by Saks Fifth Avenue
1b: pop-up box accompanied by: "Hi, I'm Svend, Thanks for contacting eBay's Live Help. How may I assist you today?” Usually consists of friendly banter, lacking desired assistance.
Example: HELP!! I accidentally hit BIN by mistake!! How do I get Live Help??

LOL

Pronunciation: (not pronounced, only written)

Function: acronym for laughing out loud
Etymology: Middle eBay loud, from Old eBay laugh
Definition: used in eBay board posts to signify that the poster is chuckling to him/herself as he/she writes.

Example: Reading the dictionary, LOL.

LQQK
Pronunciation: (not pronounced, only written)

Function: verb to LQQK
Etymology: Middle eBay look, from Old eBay annoying
Definition: used in eBay auction titles in the mistaken belief that it will somehow draw attention to the item up for sale.

Variation: L@@K
Example: LQQK Gigantic Widget

¹lot
Pronunciation: lät
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle eBay some, from Old eBay junque,
Definition: a number of units of an article, a single article, or a parcel of articles offered as one item in an auction sale.
Example: This is an estate lot of items that I have not evaluated individually, but I was told they belonged to the owners' great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather.
1b: a batch of assorted junk offered as one item in an auction sale.
Example: This wonderful lot of books has stains and no covers, but I'm sure they are valuable; I just don't have time to list them separately.

1c: a place to park cars.

lurker

Pronunciation: lr׳ kr
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle Ebay voyeur, from Old Ebay hidden
Definition: one who avidly reads board posts but is too timid and/or has too much sense of self-preservation to actually post on those boards. Often driven to post by some particularly egregious statement.

Example: I’m usually a lurker but that last poster was such a maroon (see maroon) that I have to come out of hiding and respond.

M

maroon

Pronunciation: mà rūn׳
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle Ebay moron, from Old Ebay mentally deficient
Definition: a synonym for moron that will not result in a pink slap (see pink slap).

Example: I made an offer to a seller on an item that failed to get a bid. I got told I'm a freakin’ maroon and to forget it.

mature listing
Pronunciation: naw׳ tē
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle eBay sordid, through the AL Board HOT TUB thread
1a: any auction listed that has naked men reflected in tea kettles
1b. relating to nekkid wimmins selling toys

masochism
Pronunciation: máss o kizm

Function: noun
Etymology: French, from Old eBay, Eau d'debt
Definition: a perverted pleasure taken in photographing, cropping, resizing, cussing, resizing again, composing, spell-checking, uploading, and listing items for sale.

Meg
Pronunciation: Mèg

Function: Noun
Etymology: Ultra-modern Ebay, from Queen of all she surveys
Definition: 1a: proper name of CEO of eBay.
1b: mythical being who visits with the "real people" on a regular basis
1c: Waterpet's best friend
Example: I hear Meg is going to come to the AL board tomorrow and pink slap us all for complaining about the PayPal icons.

page

Pronunciation: mē׳ paj

Function: noun

Etymology: Modern, self-absorbed eBay ME ME ME from Early eBay me

Definition: 1a: It's as easy as 1, 2, 3 — no technical skills required! See how you can quickly:

Create a storefront for yourself

Show off your fabulous finds

Display your items up for bid

Educate the world about your favorite hobby

Promote who you are in the eBay community

1b: a user-generated page. Sometimes useful, often self-promoting. Can be hilarious when done by a Powerseller (see powerseller).

minty
Pronunciation: mĭnt

Function: adjective

Etymology: Middle eBay made from Early eBay used

Definition: 1a: a mint based flavoring.

1b: newly made, as in a newly minted coin
1c: evidently now also used for any item, anytime, even on items that would in no way quality for the term mint; used in descriptions by sellers who think it is way more clever than the term mint.

Example: This minty baseball only has a few rubs and scratches.

Monday
Pronunciation: Mun׳ day
Function: noun
Etymology: Old Ebay, moon about from Old English mǽnatag
Definition:1a: the first day of the week - dreaded by most people
1b: eBay's slowest selling day of the week for most sellers.
1c: a preparation day for the things to be listed on Tuesday for 5 days - to end on the next Sunday.
1d: the day to package/mail all the things that sold Sunday.
1e: a song by The Mamas and The Papas -
Monday Monday so good to me
Monday mornin' it was all I hoped it would be
Oh Monday mornin' Monday mornin' couldn't guarantee
That Monday evenin' you would still be here with me ..
Example: On Monday the listing fees and many other fees will be going up on eBay. What else is new?

N

¹NARU
Pronunciation: nàa-rǔ
Function: noun – acronym for Not A Registered User
Etymology: obscure, possibly from Old Norse nahrø, never paid

Definition: an eBay username no
longer registered for the auction site's transactions. Usually only discovered when an upstanding member of eBay's community, having realized that a user has jumped ship on following through with the binding contract which their
bid has established for them, has resigned him/herself to the application of negative feedback to said user’s account, only to
receive the error message, "Feedback cannot be left for this member,
they are no longer a registered user”.
Example: My auction ended two months ago and I’ve had no reply from this bidder. When I went to leave a negative, I found he was NARU.

²NARU
Pronunciation: nàa-rǔ
Function: verb – to NARU - acronym for Not A Registered User
Definition: the eBay act of suspending
the right of a user to participate in the auction site's transactions. Usually only discovered when an upstanding member of eBay's community, having realized that a user has jumped ship on following through with the binding contract which their bid has established for them, has resigned him/herself to the application of negative feedback to said user’s account, only to receive the error message, "Feedback cannot be left for this member,
they are no longer a registered user”.
Example: Why can’t I find the user information on a user with whom I have had a poor experience? "Sorry newbie, the user (buyer/seller) has been NARUed"

¹neg

Pronunciation: nèg

Function: verb to neg
Etymology: Ancient Ebay, bad deal
Definition: 1a: giving feedback for a poor transaction.

1b: retaliatory action.

1c: A dilemma; to neg or not to neg, that is the question.

²neg

Pronunciation: nèg

Function: noun, short for negative
Etymology: Ancient Ebay, unhappy camper
Definition: 1a: feedback given for a poor transaction.

1b: the big red.

1c: subject of many threads, posted mainly by whiners (see whiner).

1d: most feared word for sellers and buyers.

1e: useless often unnecessary feedback

newbie

Pronunciation: new׳ bē

Function: noun.

Etymology: Middle eBay clueless from Early internet new
Definition: 1a: A brand new eBay user.
1b: Common cause of cancelled bids.

1c: Common cause of negative feedback.
1d: One who causes anxiety in sellers.

1e: Anyone whose name you've never seen before and whose writing style you can't identify as belonging to a user you know.

Example: A newbie just asked me if they had to pay for shipping too.

NPB
Pronunciation: en pee bee

Function: noun - acronym for Non Paying Bidder
Etymology: Earliest eBay not sending payment

Definition: member who bids on and wins an auction, but will not open wallet to pay for purchase. Similar in real life to those who pay for a can of soda with a credit card and think that it's okay to refrain from paying the company that forked over that sixty five cents until it goes to court (see bankruptcy or debt collection).

Example: I’ve had three NPBs this week!

NPBA
Pronunciation: en pee bee aye

Function: noun - Acronym for Non Paying Bidder Alert
Etymology: Earliest eBay not sending payment notice

Definition: e-Mail sent to NPB (see previous listing) by eBay at seller’s request to remind the winning bidder that they won this auction and it would be awfully gosh darned nice if they'd pay sometime in the near future, but don't rush it because we already collected OUR fees from the seller so no big deal really. Stretch it out another ten days and they'll get over it or forget about it and forget to file the FVFC request and it will probably all be good. Often used synonymously for NPB. (see FVFC, NPB)
Example: I’ve had three NPBs this week, and have to send NPBAs to get my FVFs back.

nibbler
Pronunciation: nĭb-lr
Function: Noun
Etymology: Middle Ebay cheap, from Old Ebay cheap
Definition: 1a: one who chews, bites or slowly eats up a previous bidder's proxy by bidding in small 5-cent increments because they don't want to (or know how to) bid their maximum, trying to receive widget for the cheapest price possible.
1b: very small ears of corn (also packaged in cans by the Jolly Green one himself).
1c: Ancient American ritual involving a significant other and an ear.
numpty
Pronunciation: núm׳ ptee
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle eBay empty, from Old eBay simpleton
Definition: a clueless bidder or seller
Example: My numpty buyer wants me to send them all my widgets so they can choose the one they want to keep!

NWOT
Pronunciation: (not pronounced, only written)
Function: adjective, abbreviation for New With Out Tags
Etymology: Modern eBay, character saver
Definition:1a: commonly used in auction listings to describe an item that has in fact been used but is still in pretty good condition and can be passed off as new without the tags to prove it.
1b: used as an eye catcher in auction title and then changed to "like new" in actual description.
Example: Gorgeous Prom Dress NWOT

O

OMG

Pronunciation: (not pronounced, only written)

Function: acronym for Oh My God
Etymology: Middle eBay Oy Vey, from Old eBay Gol ly
Definition: used in eBay board posts to signify that the poster is astounded, horrified, stricken, flabbergasted, appalled, surprised, or from southern California.

Example: OMG, the dictionary arrived!

OP

Pronunciation: ō pē
Function: noun, acronym for original poster
Etymology: Middle Ebay original pest, from Old Ebay herewegoagain
Definition: 1a: designation used in a thread on any eBay board to denote the original writer of the thread topic or question.

1b: eBay poster who starts a thread then disappears forever.
Example: Hey, the OP seems to have disappeared. Guess they didn’t like the answers they got.

OT
Pronunciation: ō tē
Function: adjective, acronym for off topic
Etymology: Middle Ebay unrelated, from Old Ebay not relevant
Definition: designation used on a thread started on any eBay board to denote a subject that has nothing to do with eBay.
Example: OT: WOE IS ME, MY DAUGHTER WON'T WEAR SKIRTS BUT MY SON INSISTS ON DOING SO.
Special note: The use of OT in the title of a thread started by an OP (see OP) will not necessarily protect an OP from being flamed, (see flamed) by a Troll (see Troll). (In fact, read the whole dictionary, otherwise most of this makes no sense.)

outbid

Pronunciation: owt bĭd΄

Function: verb to outbid

Etymology: Middle eBay bid from Early eBay bought
Definition: 1. to offer a price on an auction higher than the current highest price. Beloved by sellers, abhorred by buyers.

Example: I was outbid on that widget and I really wanted it.

P

PayPal

Pronunciation: Pāy׳ Păl (sounds better with a Boston accent) often abbreviated PP (see Dr. Spock’s Baby and Child Care)
Function: comb. pr. noun
Etymology: from the Middle eBay word pay (see fees) and the usually (but not always) friendly word pal.

Definition: 1a: a method of getting screwed in the fastest way possible, which is not usually a good thing
1b: Internet term to complete an online transaction
1c: the only way to get PP on your listing
Example: I take PayPal because I want to sell worldwide, but the fees are making me a non-profit organization.

paypaldamon

Pronunciation: pāy׳ păl dā׳ mŭn
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle eBay free T-shirt, from Old eBay Damon
Definition: 1a: a specific employee of PayPal

1b: one who sends T-Shirts to AL Boardies (but I haven’t gotten one)

1c: a hottie

Not to be confused with PayPalDaemon
Example: Paypaldamon fixed my billing problem because he likes me best!

peeps

Pronunciation: peepz
Function: Noun pl.
Etymology: Middle Ebay peep
Definition: 1a. Shortened version of the group name “people” referring to the body of individuals that composes a community, tribe, nation, or Ebay Message Board
1b: gooey marshmallow treat shaped like a baby chick made by the Just Born™ Candy Company.
Example: Two peeps were pink slapped (see pink slap) when they used the word poop.

PIMP
Pronunciation: P¢imp
Function: acronym for Peeing In My Pants

Etymology: Middle eBay hilarious from Old Internet hilarious

Definition: 1a: anything that is so outrageous or humorous to the observer that the aforementioned effect is produced, or would be produced if exceptional control were not exercised.

1b: Acronym typed quickly into little box when chatting on eBay Message Boards; useful when family members are staring at PIMP'er who is laughing hysterically at monitor positioned 25" from face. Often used in combination with OMG* and ROFLMAO*
Example: OMG!!! ROFLMBO PIMP!!
pink
Pronunciation: pǐnk
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle eBay parent, from Old eBay pita
Definition: employee of eBay who has the dubious distinction of monitoring the message boards, instantly recognizable by the pink band bordering the top of the post with a jazzy ID like pinky@eBay.com.
Example: A pink is monitoring the board, so I’ll send you an e-mail.

pink slap
Pronunciation: pǐnk sláp
Function: noun

Etymology: Middle eBay punish, from Old eBay treat like a baby
Definition: official reprimand from eBay moderators, not to be confused with eBay pinks. Pink slaps are issued by sister company Live World - most often by Live World employees who have difficulty with English as well as board policy.
Example: I got a pink slap for using the word “omniscient” spelled correctly and in the proper context.
Example: I got a pink slap for posting the fact that a post was not pulled. The violation was "discussion of a deleted post." Never mind that it's still active and sitting on the front page, and the doofus asking the question doesn't understand the search function if it happens to be working that day. If the word "pulled" is in the post, it must be a violation.

pizza sheep
Pronunciation: pēs of shēp (oh, just say it out loud, for pete’s sake!)
Function: derogatory adjective
Etymology: Modern Ebay piece of and sheep
1: one person's supposedly clever way to avoid posting a vulgar comment within the feedback system, that otherwise would be removed.

Example:

posting ID
Pronunciation: ׀pō-stŋ 'ī-'dē
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle eBay alter, from Old eBay ego
Definition: 1a: an assumed name under which an individual can communicate (quasi)anonymously on the message boards
Example: I'd an idea for an ID, but got yournameistaken
1b: evil twin
postulate

Pronunciation: post·too·late

Function: verb to postulate
Etymology: Middle eBay post from Old eBay missed the thread
Definition:1a: to assume or assert a truth, reality, or necessity, especially as a basis of an argument
1b: to post on an eBay board thread in a delayed manner so as to either make your post seem unconnected or to royally tick someone off. Often found in heated
threads regarding politics, religion or
breastfeeding.

private feedback

Pronunciation: prī vət fēed׳ back Function: noun
Etymology: Modern Ebay shameful secret
Definition: 1a: feedback that a user chooses to keep hidden so other eBayers cannot tell just what the heck they are getting into.

1b: cause of lost sales

1c: often immediately precedes NARU (see NARU) status.

Example: OMG!!!(see OMG) I just noticed that my seller has private feedback.

prolly

Pronunciation: pro׳ bab ly

Function: adverb
Etymology: Middle Ebay lazy
Definition: 1a: shortened form of probably
1b: used by lazy typists when posting on boards.
Example: You are prolly bidding on a fake LV bag.

R

rare
Pronunciation: rār
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle Ebay rarus
Definition: 1a: occurring or appearing frequently, except today.
1b: marked by unusual quality, merit, or appeal to the seller.
Example: You are bidding on a rare used candle.

button

Pronunciation: rē port׳ bŭt tŭn
Function: noun
Etymology: LiveWorld eBay Forums and Groups; circa 2002.
Definition: JavaScript button related to each Forum posting. When pressed, the related posting is electronically transmitted to drunken LiveWorld monkeys with typewriters and fake names, which eventually review the material in the post and deem it to be in violation of eBay standards (whatever they are). The material is then deleted, and the writer told by email what a bad boy/girl/troll they have been.
Also referred to as "The Button".
Example: Johnny used the Report Button when someone called him a Pizza Sheep (don’t even ask, but it’s under “P”).

Example: Johnny quickly found out that certain posts he made would cause others to use the Report Button

reserve
Pronunciation: rē zurv'
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle eBay ridiculous, from Old eBay ruin
Definition: 1a: theoretically that price below which a seller will not sell.

1b. pie in the sky price selected without any research on similar items.

Example: I wanted to bid on this auction, but when I asked the seller to reveal the reserve, he called me a freakin maroon (see maroon) and told me to forget it.

ROFLMAO

Pronunciation: (not pronounced, only written)

Function: acronym for rolling on floor laughing my ass off.
Etymology: Middle eBay hi larious from Old eBay what a hoot!
Definition: used in eBay board posts to signify that the poster is laughing so hard at whatever was just read that he has fallen off his chair, is rolling on the floor and laughing hysterically. May be mistaken for a seizure.

Example: ROFLMAO at Pahoo’s post.

S

sellers
Pronunciation: cell rz
Function: Noun, pl. of seller
Etymology: Modern eBay lose money, from Middle eBay sell stuff,

Definition: 1a. those who are "with it" but want to be "without it"
1b: yard sale recyclers
1c: overstock recyclers
1d: garage recyclers
1e: trash recyclers
1f: large corporations (who’d have guessed?)
1g: Peter

1h: eBay's lifeblood, without them eBay would not exist; treated shabbily
Example: My auctions have been in the cellar, sellers pray for "green", high bidders pray that it doesn't get lost.

shell listing
Pronunciation: shĕll listing

Function: noun

Etymology: Middle eBay shell, from Old eBay hollow

Definition: an auction without "guts" that sellers delight in listing during free listing days (see FLD). After FLD, the details of the auction listing are filled in at the seller’s leisure.

shill bid
Pronunciation: shǐlĺ bidding
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle eBay shill bidding, from Old eBay artificial price,
Definition: 1a: bidding on one's own auctions using another ID.
1b: having another bid on one's auctions for the sole purpose of driving up the price.
1c: method used to become eBay's Power seller of the Month

¹shipping
Pronunciation: shĭ׳ pĭng
Function: pas. voice verb to ship
Etymology: Middle eBay, schlep
Definition: 1: to cause to be transported from one location to another by bicycle, auto, bus, van, train, airplane, wagon train, camel or any mode except by a vessel of considerable size designed for deep-water navigation.

Synonym: send

²shipping
Pronunciation: shĭ׳ pĭng
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle eBay, cheat

Definition: the cost of transporting goods charged by a seller, often unrelated to actual postage, fees or labor required for such services.

Example: Shipping for this lace handkerchief will be $42.00.

skyping
Pronunciation: sky׳ -ping
Function: verb
Etymology: English slang, annoy Definition: the ability to bother your sellers via voice over internet protocal.

Example: I've just been Skyped by a fourteen year old.

My customer Skyped me a stupid question about something that was posted in the listing.

snipe

Pronunciation: snīp

Function: verb to snipe

Etymology: Middle eBay snepfa, from Old eBay carp
Definition: 1a: to want to post what someone else had just said.

1b: to stay up late at night to early morning to get your bid in at the last second.

Example: I was so slow at typing in my response to this post, Bevans00 sniped me!

sniper

Pronunciation: snīp׳ r

Function: noun

Etymology: Middle eBay snepfa, from Old eBay PITA
Definition: 1a: one who posts ahead of other posters.

1b: one who stays up late at night to early morning to get a bid in at the last second.

1c: a program that performs as in 1b.

1d: a contemptible person

some
Pronunciation: sǔm
Function: pronoun
Etymology: Middle eBay some, from Old eBay summa
Definition: the entire eBay community.
Example: Earlier today, some members may have experienced errors when trying to access some Community Discussion boards

sortation
Pronunciation: sor-tā-tion
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle eBay sort, from Old eBay jumble
Definition: mixing new auctions in with all the old ones and placing auctions on pages randomly instead of according to search criteria.

Example: Help!! The sortation function isn’t working! My auctions are all mixed up!

spell check
Pronunciation: spë´ll chĕk
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle Internet spelling checker, from Old Internet spelling for the illiterate
Definition: 1a: handy feature in most word processing software that can automatically correct spelling errors when typing listings or message board posts.
1b: eBay spell checking software, apparently written by an illiterate foreign national, able to mangle entirely comprehensible sentences into unintelligible gobbledygook.

spew

Pronunciation: spự
Function: pr.ts. verb to spew pst.ts. spewed
Etymology: Modern eBay spurt, from Middle eBay spurt goo,
Definition: 1a: a physical reaction after drinking liquid causing spots of liquid droplets to suddenly emerge from the mouth and/or nose and appear on a monitor. Usually due to a board posting, rarely to a sneeze or cough.
1b: liquid (can be any color) being expelled forcefully from one's mouth, often resulting in the destruction of a brand new keyboard.

Example: The picture in the toy listing was so suggestive I spewed all over my keyboard.

spoof e-mail

Pronunciation: spōōf ē-māl

Function: noun

Etymology: from Old eBay, fraud

Definition: 1a: an e-mail purporting to come from eBay, but actually sent by a thief trying to get your private eBay information. Spoof seems far too friendly a word to describe this activity.

Perhaps “attempted robbery e-mail” would be a better name.

Square Trade
Pronunciation: skware trade
Function: noun
Etymology: traced back to monkey that bred to create live world monkey.
Definition: Organization which, for a $20 fee, allows you to file a somewhat worthless complaint against another user, utilizing their "negotiation tactics"
Example: This numpty buyer was an npb and now has filed a report to Square Trade about me. Needless to say I am not responding.

store
Pronunciation: st or׳
Function: noun
Etymology: Modern eBay hidden stash
Definition: 1a: a place that is hard to find without an auction to drive you there
1b: where nobody goes on eBay
1c: where everybody goes when they are not on eBay
1d: an inexpensive place to keep great stuff (junk) on eBay
Example: If you can't sell it, put it in your store and forget about it.

Sunday

Pronunciation: sǔn׳ dāy

Function: noun
Etymology: Middle eBay sun, from Old eBay day off

Definition: 1a: Disease affecting the eBay network system preventing normal access by subscribers, especially those with ending auctions.

1b: first or last day of the week.
1c: common excuse for Ebay glitches, i.e. logon issues, bidding problems, entire pages magically disappearing, System Errors.
Example: “My eBay” is not showing my auctions. It must be Sunday.

T

Tabberone

Pronunciation: tab br won׳

Function: pr. noun

Etymology: Modern Ebay, hero
Definition: 1a: an eBay user who has legal knowledge and a strong sense of resentment at being intimidated under the guise of Trade Mark protection.
1b: one who may cause a lawsuit to come down on VERO. (see VERO)
Example: Tabberone advised me to request the specific details on why my auction was pulled!

Troll

Pronunciation: trôll

Function: noun

Etymology: Old Norse troll, from Old eBay PITA

Definition: 1a: one who searches board posts solely to find opinions to attack.

1b: one who can't keep the grubby fingers off the report button.

1c: one who strives for attention.

1d: one who has no life and should be pitied

1e: a large lout who lives in a cave or under a bridge and eats travelers.

1f: small plastic dolls with wildly-colored hair assumed to have the power to wreak havoc on the residence in which they reside.

troll

Pronunciation: trôll

Function: verb to troll

Etymology: Old Norse troll, from Old eBay PITA

Definition: 1a: search boards to find posters to insult

1b: search auctions for bargains

1c: search listings of posters to find reasons to insult

Example: Some posters have nothing better to do than troll for people to report.

tsimmis
Pronunciation: 'tsi-m&s,

Function: noun

Etymology: Yiddish tsimes, from Middle High German z, zuo at, to + imbIz light meal

Definition: > 1a: a stew with "heterogeneous" fruits and vegetables integrated into a surprisingly tasty whole 1b: a sweetened combination of vegetables (as carrots and potatoes) or of meat and carrots often with dried fruits (as prunes) that is stewed or baked in a casserole

1c: a big deal

1d: a commotion.
Example: She got all her fees back, so I don't see what the big tsimmis is.

alt spelling: <i> tzim·mes</i>

U

unwelcome bidder
Pronunciation: unwelcŏm bid΄ r

Function: noun

Etymology: Middle eBay don’t sell my item, from Old eBay don’t bid

Definition: Person who is not welcome to bid on your auction.
Example: I have a Canadian unwelcome bidder. I really don’t want to ship to Canada because it’s too much hassle.
Usually followed by the post “Why aren't my widgets selling?”

user ID

Pronunciation: usr I D

Function: noun

Etymology: Modern Ebay, alias
Definition: 1a: a name selected by an individual registering on eBay for use in buying, selling or posting.

1b: unusual word combinations and odd spellings that make it difficult to figure out what social statement said user is trying to make.

Example: My user ID made most peeps ROFL. Now I’m sorry I picked it, but all my feedback is associated with it so I’m stuck.

V

VERO

Pronunciation: VĒRO (rhymes with zero)
Function: noun

Etymology: Modern Ebay, monopoly
Definition: 1a: super exclusive community that has God-like powers to pull your auctions without conversing with you first.
1b: one whose practices may result in a lawsuit. (see Tabberone)
Example: I can’t believe VERO pulled my auction because I said something was shabby and chic!

vulgar
Pronunciation: vǔl׳ gr
Function: pronoun
Etymology: Middle eBay vulgaris, from Old eBay smutty
Definition: anything posted in a thread by carped or burstagut
Example: Earlier today, carpped‘s post was removed as being vulgar. This is her umpteenth pink slap. (see pink slap)

W

whiner

Pronunciation: wī׳ nr
Function: noun
Etymology: Modern eBay witless one, from Old eBay PITA

Definition: 1a. board poster who complains about everything. If his auctions are doing great, he complains about having to make too many trips to the post office. If his auctions are not doing great, he complains about how he is not making any money on Ebay.

1b: self-absorbed board poster who thinks every eBay decision is made to upset him and him alone. Posts multiple threads to complain.

¹whisper
Pronunciation: wĭs׳ pr
Function: noun
Etymology: from Pahoo February 1988
Definition: something uttered very softly, distinguished by very tiny font size under the misapprehension that no one else can hear or "see" poster on eBay's AL Board. Frequently found in wayward threads.
Example: Pssst…...Anyone need to be tucked in tonight?

²whisper
Pronunciation: wĭs׳ pr
Function: verb to whisper
Etymology: see previous
Definition: to post using very tiny font size under the misapprehension that no one else can hear or "see" your post on eBay's AL Board.

Example: Pssst…...Anyone need to be tucked in tonight?

widget
Pronunciation: wĭd΄-jĭt
Function: noun
Etymology: Modern eBay whatthehellisthat, from Old eBay whuh?

Definition: 1a: an unnamed item.
1b: an item an eBay board poster has for sale that they cannot put a name to for fear of being pink slapped (see pink slap) for promoting their auctions.

1c: A polite word for an extremely useful appendage that has occasionally been seen being stuck in a shower door on the AL board.

Ouch!!! That hurts just to think about it!
Example: I have 25 widgets up for auction and none of them have bids! Waaahhh!
Example: Does anyone know what this widget is?
widgetosis

Pronunciation: wĭj ə tō sǐs

Function: noun
Etymology: see widget
Definition: medical condition that affects eBay sellers. Symptoms include rubbernecking while driving to look at yard sales, thrift stores, trash piles, etc. Also includes obsessive peering into in-laws' cabinets and garages for yummy finds, and mentally estimating what a newly received gift would bring on eBay if one were to sell same.
widgeholic

Pronunciation: wĭj ə hō lǐk

Function: noun
Etymology: see widget
Definition: One who suffers from the above ailment
widgetopolis

Pronunciation: wĭj ə tâp o lǐs

Function: noun
Etymology: see widget (do I have to keep telling you this?)
Definition: A room or living space overrun with collectible items. Describes the office, living room, bedroom, bathroom, etc. of a widgeholic.